The Basics of Safer Sex
Safer Sex Is for Every Body
Consent. Communication. Care.
This guide offers practical, inclusive tools to support connection and confidence in all sexual experiences—no matter your gender, orientation, or relationship status.
Consent, Connection, and Care for All Bodies
By Nutbrown Counselling
Sex can be many things—intimate, joyful, curious, awkward, empowering, vulnerable. But no matter what it looks like or who it’s with, safer sex is about more than just protection—it’s about respect, choice, and care for yourself and others.
Whether you're navigating new experiences, in a long-term relationship, or reconnecting with your body after trauma, safer sex is for everyone. Let’s explore the core elements of safer sex—physically, emotionally, and relationally.
What Is Safer Sex?
Safer sex is any approach to sexual activity that reduces the risk of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and prioritizes consent, communication, and emotional wellbeing.
It's not just about physical safety. It’s about creating experiences that are mutually respectful, informed, and aligned with your values—no matter your gender, orientation, or relationship status.
Ongoing, Affirmative Consent
Consent isn’t a one-time checkbox. It’s an ongoing, enthusiastic “yes” that can be withdrawn at any time, even in committed or long-term relationships.
Healthy consent means:
Freely given: Not pressured, manipulated, or coerced.
Reversible: You can change your mind at any point.
Informed: You understand what you're saying yes (or no) to.
Enthusiastic: It should feel like a “yes,” not a “fine, I guess.”
Specific: Consent to one activity doesn’t mean consent to all.
Consent also applies to how something happens—not just what happens. Checking in during intimate moments, even with a familiar partner, is a sign of care—not mistrust.
STI Protection & Testing
You can’t always tell who has an STI by looking at them—many infections have no symptoms. That’s why regular testing, communication, and barrier methods are key parts of safer sex.
Protection options include:
Condoms (internal or external): Reduce risk of STIs and pregnancy.
Dental dams: Thin latex or polyurethane sheets for oral sex.
Gloves: Great for hand play or reducing contact with cuts or fluids.
Lube: Reduces friction and helps prevent microtears that increase STI risk.
Testing is caring, not accusing. It’s respectful to yourself and your partners. You can access low-cost or free testing through Canadian sexual health clinics or your healthcare provider.
Emotional Safety & Communication
Safer sex isn’t only about physical health—it’s also about emotional readiness and boundaries.
Ask yourself (and your partner, if applicable):
Do I feel safe, respected, and emotionally okay in this situation?
Can I speak up if I’m uncomfortable or change my mind?
Are we clear about expectations (e.g., monogamy, emotional connection, contraception)?
What do I need to feel cared for—before, during, or after?
There’s no “right” answer. But checking in with your body and your feelings is part of honouring your whole self.
Intimacy Without Touch
Sexual connection doesn’t always involve genital contact or penetration. There are many ways to build intimacy and share closeness—especially for those healing from trauma, exploring boundaries, or wanting to deepen emotional connection.
Examples include:
Sensual touch (e.g., massage, cuddling, mutual touch)
Eye contact and verbal affirmation
Writing fantasies or sharing desires
Guided imagery or shared breathwork
Being playful, curious, or creative together
Your definition of intimacy is valid—whether it includes sex, doesn’t, or changes over time.
Inclusive and Affirming Care
Everyone deserves access to sexual health information and support that reflects their identity, anatomy, and lived experience. This includes:
Trans and non-binary individuals
2SLGBTQIA+ communities
People with disabilities
Survivors of trauma
People in polyamorous or non-traditional relationships
If you’ve ever been made to feel shame or invisible in conversations about sex—you’re not alone. And you deserve care that meets you where you are.
Final Thoughts
Safer sex is not about rules—it’s about respect, awareness, and agency. Whether you're exploring new intimacy, setting boundaries, or reconnecting with your own desires, you get to define what safety looks like for you.
You’re allowed to ask questions, change your mind, and take things at your own pace.
Warmly,
Nutbrown Counselling
In-person & virtual counselling in Kelowna, BC
🌐 www.nutbrowncounselling.com
📅 Book a Session
Disclaimer
This blog is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical or psychological advice. Nutbrown Counselling provides therapy within the counsellor’s professional scope and Canadian jurisdiction. Sexual health concerns should be discussed with a qualified health provider. Any use of the information in this post is at your own discretion and risk.
References
Action Canada for Sexual Health and Rights. (n.d.). Sexual health and safer sex. Retrieved April 20, 2025, from https://www.actioncanadashr.org
Canadian Federation for Sexual Health. (2013). Safer sex: Protect yourself and your partners. Retrieved from https://www.cfsh.ca
CATIE. (2022). Safer sex: Protecting yourself and your partners from STIs. https://www.catie.ca/en/safer-sex
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2022). Sexually transmitted infections (STIs). https://www.cdc.gov/std
Planned Parenthood. (n.d.). Safer sex. Retrieved April 20, 2025, from https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/stds-hiv-safer-sex/safer-sex
Waldman, J., & Berman, A. (2019). Reclaiming pleasure: A sex-positive guide for trauma survivors. New Harbinger Publications.
World Health Organization. (2015). Sexual health, human rights and the law. https://www.who.int/publications/i/item/9789241564984