Navigating Family Stress During the Holidays
Navigating Family Stress During the Holidays
Not every tradition has to be kept. This year, it’s okay to choose what feels kind and leave the rest behind.
Caring for yourself in a season that can bring both connection and complexity.
The holidays often come with high expectations: warmth, togetherness, festive cheer. But for many, this time of year can also bring stress, tension, and emotional overwhelm — especially when family dynamics are involved. Recognizing common stressors and having a few strategies on hand can help you move through the season with more ease, presence, and self-compassion.
Why Holidays Can Feel So Stressful
Holiday gatherings often stir up more than just good food and cheerful music. They can resurface old family roles, unresolved conflicts, financial worries, grief, and expectations — all under the pressure of celebration. For some, holidays also amplify feelings of loneliness or disconnection.
Research from the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health (CAMH) notes that disruptions to routine, financial pressure, and strained family relationships can all contribute to holiday-related stress. Even anticipated joy can feel emotionally complicated when there’s history involved.
Family-related stress can affect both mental and physical health — showing up as fatigue, difficulty sleeping, headaches, or tension in the body. Even when people are doing their best, the mix of emotion and expectation can feel like a lot.
What Research (and Lived Experience) Suggests Can Help
Mental health experts across Canada highlight a few core supports during the holidays:
Maintaining gentle routines and sleep habits whenever possible
Staying connected with supportive people — including chosen family
Letting go of pressure to make things perfect
Being kind to yourself when emotions run high
Reaching out when you need support
Sources like CAMH, the Canadian Psychological Association, and Trillium Health Partners emphasize that even small steps — like taking a break, checking in with someone you trust, or preparing ahead — can make a difference.
Coping Strategies for Family Holiday Stress
Know Your Triggers, Gently
If you’ve been through difficult or complicated holiday seasons before, it’s okay to pause and reflect:
Are there particular people, dynamics, or moments that feel draining or overwhelming?
Can you create a soft plan for how to take care of yourself in those moments?
This might look like: planning a walk or phone break, leaving early, asking a friend to check in, or choosing to skip certain events altogether. You get to make choices that feel supportive.
Boundaries Are Acts of Care
Setting a boundary isn’t rejection — it’s a way of caring for your energy and safety. That might mean saying no to a gathering, skipping a conversation you’re not ready for, or choosing quiet connection over large events. You don’t need to fix old family patterns this year — your focus can be on what’s manageable right now.
Prioritize Nourishment, Rest, and Regulation
When stress is high, it’s easy to skip meals, lose sleep, or ignore the body’s needs. Try to:
Eat regularly and stay hydrated (even if meals aren’t “perfect”)
Get rest when you can — even short breaks help
Notice what soothes your nervous system: grounding, stretching, music, time in nature, journaling, or simply stepping outside
Rather than forcing yourself into stillness or silence, think of tending gently to what your body is asking for.
Soften Expectations
It’s okay if your holidays don’t look like movies or memories. Joy can be quiet. Connection can be slow. A simple shared moment — laughter, a walk, a kind message — might mean more than the most elaborate meal.
Trying to do it all, or do it “perfectly,” can drain the very joy we’re hoping to feel. If something can be simpler this year, let it.
Connect with People Who Feel Safe
Sometimes, the safest connections aren’t with family. Reach out to people who help you feel grounded, seen, or less alone. This might be a friend, partner, therapist, or online community. Whether you spend the holidays with others or not, knowing that someone has your back can make a big difference.
Gentle Coping, Not Perfection
Some of us turn to coping strategies that get us through — even if they’re not always what we’d choose in our calmest moments. Rather than shaming ourselves for those moments, we can stay curious and compassionate. You’re doing your best. When you’re ready, grounding practices, creative outlets, rest, movement, or talking to someone safe might offer more options.
A Note on Grief and Loneliness
If you’re grieving someone, or missing someone you wish you could be close to — holidays may sharpen that pain. You’re not alone in that. Your grief is real, and worthy of tenderness. Creating space for remembrance, or allowing time away from the pressure to “celebrate,” can be deeply healing.
You Are Not Alone
The holidays can hold many emotions at once: joy and exhaustion, love and hurt, gratitude and grief. You’re allowed to protect your well-being — even when it’s hard, even when others don’t understand.
If this season is bringing up more than you expected, therapy can be a supportive place to explore your experience, process family dynamics, and feel a bit more anchored.
Sending compassion and gentleness to you, however you're navigating this season.
Warmly,
Nutbrown Counselling
In-person & virtual counselling in Kelowna, BC
🌐 www.nutbrowncounselling.com
📅 Book a Session
References
CAMH. (n.d.). Coping with holiday stress. Centre for Addiction and Mental Health. https://www.camh.ca/en/camh-news-and-stories/coping-with-holiday-stress
Canadian Psychological Association. (n.d.). Holiday stress fact sheet. https://cpa.ca/docs/File/Publications/FSHolidayStress(1).pdf
Trillium Health Partners. (2025). Mental health tips for the holiday season. https://www.trilliumhealth.org/about-us/blog/mental-health-tips-for-the-holiday-season
UT Southwestern Medical Center. (2024). 7 ways to manage family stress during the holidays. https://utswmed.org/medblog/family-stress-holidays
University of California, Davis Health. (2023). 10 tips to reduce stress and take care of yourself during the holidays. https://health.ucdavis.edu/blog/cultivating-health/10-tips-to-reduce-stress-and-take-care-of-yourself-during-the-holidays
Disclaimer
The content in this blog post is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the guidance of a qualified mental health professional or healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding your emotional or psychological well-being. Engaging with this content does not create a therapist–client relationship. If you are in crisis or need immediate support, please contact your local emergency services or a crisis line in your area.